Sometime life sucks. But can we still be grateful? -

Why is gratitude important and why does everyone keep telling me to be grateful for what I have?

It’s no wonder…

I completely understand why sometimes you cannot see any light when things feel so dark. It is hard to be thankful when you are overwhelmed by life’s ongoing demands, the constant hard days or bored with loneliness and isolation, or you feel like no one understands what you’re going through.

With the festivities over, the January blues can kick in. Do we set new year’s resolutions only to fail at them or dare to believe we’ll stick to them this year. A friend said to me recently ‘January and February are nothing months, I wish we could delete them.’ I get it, but I don’t agree.

Although the pandemic is still here and so is that level of uncertainty and almost distrust of those who dared to give us hope that we might have been getting over it. Of course, those feelings can manifest into sadness, anger, disappointment, and pessimism.

It is easy to allow the fixed part of our mindset to takeover and refuse to think about anything which is good in our life.

However, our happiness is our gift, and no one will work harder at it than us. No one else is responsible for our happiness, why should they be?

A positive mindset

I genuinely believe that January is the time to be more grateful than ever; it might be cold, we might be skint, we might be fatter than last month (if we’re lucky) however what better place to start the year than doing things that are free. Planning, sorting, organising and reflecting. All things which afterwards we feel so much better for. A good wardrobe sort and a dash to the charity shop, yes please!

Or a walk in the woods, wrapped up warm and looking at the nature which survives the cold and has grown to be resilient in its own way. Lush.

Finding a new podcast, doing a free course or phoning a friend who might be struggling a little bit more than usual. Free and fulfilling.

I might be cheating here as I have always been naturally positive; although at times it has taken a deeper strength to find things to be grateful for. I haven’t always had what I have now, and I will never forget that.

However, if you are not naturally positive, I promise, you can retrain your brain. During the worst anxiety attacks I have learned to accept that sometimes my thoughts are not useful to me.

So, I try to the CHECK, CHALLENGE, CHANGE routine for any unhelpful thoughts. It takes practice but it works.

It feels easier to be sad now

With all that in mind what does gratitude mean? Sometimes it takes a life altering event to make us realise why we need to be grateful for the everyday. It is almost accepted that if life is nearly taken away from us, we are allowed to believe that just being alive is enough.

But what if, every day we looked at what we can be grateful for, no matter how small?

The sun when it shines through the clouds, our homes, despite never being ‘finished’, or the laughter we hear from others.

Despite having many a tough paper round, I have learned to be grateful.

A good friend said to me some time ago, ‘nothing lasts forever, no good or bad time’. So, despite the sleep deprivation and the uncertainty, I love my life. I am grateful my children are healthy; I am grateful I can go food shopping without a calculator. I’ve worked hard for those things, and I’ll be dammed if any bad day, pandemic, or grumpy sky is going to stop me from remembering how lucky I am. It might be easier to be sad, but I like a challenge and it feels better to be positive.